Long story short

Mell, your recent “whining” email really resonated with me, because this debate over these big-ticket decisions has really flushed out some fundamental differences of opinion between my DH and I. I’m the entrepreneur who isn’t afraid to take some risk now and then if we have a reasonable chance of return. But DH is VERY cautious about purchases and/or investing; he doesn’t want any risk at all and can come up with reasons not to do things until the sun burns out. In the past, that discrepancy has caused a lot of friction. The combine is the single biggest purchase we’ll have made since the DR class, and the logging activity is the single biggest project we’ll ever have undertaken here on the property. Furthermore, once those trees come down we can’t really stand them back up if we don’t like the results. So in both of these contexts, we’ve both really had to push our personal comfort zones to find ways to meet in the middle. I won’t say we’re done with that process yet – we haven’t actually logged the property yet or purchased the combine. But now we recognize that while the other person’s arguments might seem like they’re coming from The Great Beyond of Absurdity (and yes we do have more than a few moments of defensiveness), both approaches have merit and deserve to be heard. I’m cautiously optimistic we’ll reach decisions on both, that we can both live with. I sincerely hope you’re able to reach the same level of compromise with your DH, in your ongoing budget conversations.